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Your therapist probably knows you pretty well and should be able to help learn how NOT let this take it's toll on your emotional health. It's up to you, and what you want for your life, to figure out how to forgive yourself and keep moving toward better mental health. If you LET this destroy you... then you are in for some very very hard times.
You can take control (with support, while things are so difficult) of your thinking.
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany
“Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge
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