i know exactly what you're talking about. i used to have a serious problem with pap smears. they elicited a lot of pain in that area and triggered my flashbacks. yes, things did get better over the years. especially, since someone invented a - i don't know what to call it - a thingy that goes in a small way and flips out while it's inside. i don't mean to be so detailed, but it very painless that way. from that time on, i asked doctors to use that particular equipment whenever i have a pap smear. if your doc knows that you have issues with this kind of test, he or she might understand and, maybe delay sending you those reminders for awhile until you get this worked out. i hope things go well for you.