I'm ashamed of my teeth. Its been years since I've been to the dentist, I'm too embarrassed to say how long its been, but I need to go. I'm tired of always being instantly afraid and self conscious whenever the subject comes up. My teeth don't hurt but they are really stained and I've been told that I grind my teeth badly when I'm asleep.

I don't remember bad memories of the dentist because I don't have any memories of going to the dentist. The reason I'm scared is that I'm afraid I will be judged by the state of my teeth and I have a fear of the dentist and nurses yelling at me for not taking care of them. I have a history of anxiety and depression and when I've struggled, I do not take care of myself. I am starting to get caught up and take care of myself now that my mental health is better but my teeth are severely neglected. I probably do need a form of sedation dentistry just to get in the office let alone let them work on my teeth. I have a history of freaking out and panicking when needles and unfamiliar treatments are involved especially when pain is involved. I am afraid of being mocked and told to grow up if I start crying and panicking. This has happened in the past with nurses.

I don't have dental insurance so I probably won't be able to get all of the work that I probably need all at once. It will probably have to spaced out over years. But I need to get in and at least get my teeth cleaned. Does anyone know if I would be able to have my therapist or primary doctor call in a benzo before an appointment? I looked up the costs for sedation dentistry and they are really steep but if I could get the same medicine called in, would there be any chance of it being cheaper so that I could get more work done? I do plan on asking my therapist about if I would be a good candidate for sedation dentistry next time I see her but I feel like I need to talk about my horrid mouth to help convince myself that I am not horrible.