Having a horrible night. Another full on crying fest. I miss my T so bad! I know it's night, and by morning thing will be better. But it's so freaking painful tonight.

I was rereading her response to my email after the termination. How can she say she cares about me, but that I can't contact her?

My fiance told me to call the new T. I can't. It feels wrong. Why would this person who is practically a stranger want me calling her at 4am? Why would anyone want someone to call them at 4am? And what could she possibly say to me anyways? We haven't processed anything together yet, and this os something major. What if she says/does something that hurts me and makes things worse? We should start out with small issues and not jump into a major issue at 4am, right?

It sucks. The only person who can help take this pain away is the person who caused it and she wants nothing to do with me!