I TRIED to explain to them what is involved, I mailed them literature and emails but neither of my sons had time to read it.

Within the past month in addition to my BPD and severe depression I have contracted severe pneumonia and a badly sprained ankle.

My younger son helped but he was quite sullen and resentful. I paid him money to help me.

My older son with whom I have always had a loving relationship and whom I have spent countless hours and years supporting him in his battle against parental alienation has turned into a cold-hearted bastard who told me he regrets that I have not killed myself.

I was thinking this afternoon, it suddenly occurred to me that most families pull together when one of them is sick.

Just like my abandonment by my mother my children are Act II.

I said some horrible things but I have had it up to here. I can't repeat all the things I said to that ungrateful selfish traitor.

I know that after everything I said my ties to my children are severed permanently.

But I refuse to accept responsibility I BEGGED FOR HELP and I begged for understanding in return for which I have been abandoned, the fear that has been with me all my life is finally come to fruition.

I am 65 years old and totally alone.

I can't believe my children turned out to have such cold hearts. I know you don't know me but trust me when I say we have always had warm relationships but the problem was when I NEEDED HELP - it is not allowed.

My mother was a cold, manipulative, physically and emotionally abusive woman who was not there when I needed her. Incredibly I find that my children have evolved to be just like her.

I'm trying to process this but trust me, any chance of my children ever being together again have been severed as if cut by a knife.

I needed my family, I needed understanding - my mother got her wish from the grave. I am alone and there is no going back.