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Greetings from a fellow red head! I'm not sure I've learned how to cope with "red head" comments. They still get under my skin.
I have fibro, which some times causes the kind of language problems you described. I've told the people I work directly with that I have a condition that some times causes me to have trouble communicating verbally. I tell them that I call those "stupid days." When I'm having one of those days I'll tell co-worker "I'm having a stupid day." Some understand and wait for me to answer. Others don't get it and act like butheads. I have no words of wisdom how to cope with those people.
For people I don't want to tell about the reason for the communication problem I'll either say something like "I'm having a senior moment" or "Sorry I had a brainfart."
A tip a supervisor gave me years ago when I'm stuck for words is to have a stock phrase to pull out and use. I don't know about you, but when my brain is refusing to help me find words I get flustered and frustrated, which just makes it harder to find words. By having a set phrase I can use I don't have to search for words. I just pull out the saying and use it. That usually buys me enough time to be able to find something to say.
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