T,

I know that you are going to say that you don't get disappointed with me but I am not looking forward to telling you what an unproductive week I just had. Maybe I can get something accomplished before I see you on Thursday.

I suppose I did have a couple things that were successful. I spent a lot less time than normal thinking about you. I cried a bunch last night and tried to "feel it" as you say. I guess I did because I didn't make it stop by hurting myself. Speaking of that, it's been 16 days. I also would say that I had a better week at work than usual. Less agitation and I am trying to put less pressure on myself to be "super receiving manager." It's not like I'll be rewarded for it.

The downside of my week is all I can think about though. I skipped the meditation I was going to go to. I skipped yoga this morning. I spent money I don't have this weekend. I didn't walk anymore than usual. I am eating poorly. I'm not sure if I'm even hungry when I'm eating. Finally, there's a wedding shower that I have been invited to today and I am not going. So all the sh** you told me to start doing again... I didn't do.

I know that I can keep trying, and I will. I want you to be proud of me. I don't want all the progress on my weight that I made during my divorce just go to waste.