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Originally Posted by newgal2
I don't know what to say. I feel like I'm experiencing the same thing with someone who used to be my best friend in grade school/high school, and a good friend in early adulthood. Part of me wonders if it's not my bipolar (and current depression which has lasted for more than a year, plus the fact that I've been having ECT).
One thing that I've noticed is she NEVER "likes" my facebook posts, not ever, so I don't "like" hers either. I keep telling myself one of these days I'm going to ask her why she never likes my posts. She likes everyone else's posts. I don't know if it sounds childish, it's just a glaring reality.
The other thing I wonder is maybe she's distanced herself from me because she's still into partying (at age 50) and I quit drinking 13 years ago.
The whole thing kind of hurts my feelings.
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Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. Is she aware of your issues? What is ECT? As for FB, I've had that happen to me too. I wouldn't worry to much about it as it's all a bunch of BS. My bff did that to me most of the time too. Maybe her interests and yours are different? I was always posting up funny stuff on there, or pics of cool places and talking about movies and t.v shows that I like, but my bff would post up all this DIY stuff and recipes, and she'd promote some sales stuff on there which annoyed me.
Does she at least respond to your messages and calls? That should matter more than anything. Maybe you can send her a text, email, or call her to just say hi, how have you been lately? If she doesn't respond back, then it's time to let go as it does sound like she's no longer interested in keeping the friendship going. Like you said, you quit drinking, and she didn't. So you two no longer have as much in common.
My bff, or should I say former bff as she is still ignoring me, and not likely to ever talk to me again as I'm sure that she was upset at my honesty and the fact that I told her that I didn't like a few things that she did in the past and how she hurt me and that I thought she was jealous of me too.
I wasn't mean about anything. I was just honest about things as nicely as I could be. If she is going to not care about my feelings, then to hell with her. A real friend would care about their friends feelings and try to work things out and not just ignore them just for being honest with them.
Anyways, try to focus on your other friends who don't drink. If someone is not going to take the time to acknowledge you or initiate plans with you, move on. They're no longer really your friend. It might help if you tell her how you feel. If she's your real friend, she'll listen to you and try to fix things.
If not, move on. Just remember to try to not sound defensive, accusatory, or judgmental when you do talk to her. Maybe telling her that you've noticed that she's been more distant lately and that you haven't heard from her in awhile, and that ask her if everything is OK. Let her know that it feels as if she's been ignoring you lately and that you hope that you're wrong about that or something along those lines.
If she pays attention to other people, but not you, then maybe she is doing the slow fade. Idk. It's best to do it in person or on the phone to avoid any misunderstandings. Unfortunately, people tend to drift apart when their lives change and they no longer have as much in common anymore. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, it's just the way things are. I have a hard time accepting that at times as it always hurts to loose a friend w/o knowing why. At least some closure would help me move on. It sucks never knowing why a friendship ended for sure. Good luck with everything!