Oh, ((((Carrie)))) This isn't stupid at all! All of this stuff your talking about is a huge component of si for a LOT of us. Feeling like we need to put on a facade of health and happiness because others might not accept us, and feeling like si is the only way to be able to do that when we're in so much pain. I've been there. That's how I got started with cutting. I think, if you dare, that you should talk to your husband or write a letter that says how you understand he wants you to be happy because he loves you, but how you also need to be allowed to express your feelings and work through them, or you will never truly be happy. You will never stop si-ing. And you will never be fully and honestly your self. Once you have dealt with those feelings (which can be an ucky mess, I know!!), then it will be easier to put on a REAL smile. It really will! Do you think he would understand all that?

Angela