((((Scarlet)))) It's day again. I hope you're feeling better.

I've just been reading more on here and I see your posts supporting other people. You're sure not wallowing. You strike me as moving into the mainstream of life as fast as your feelings let you.

One post of yours struck me particularly. You advised someone to "do the opposite of how you feel". I thought of this when reading about you rereading old T's email and about how much that intensified your pain. Right now you're too fragile to revisit that. It would be enormously better if you printed out all of her emails, put them all in a sealed envelope, and deleted them from your computer/phone. When you're ready, if you still want to revisit that, open them up and read them with your DBT T. But definitely, never when you're alone and never at night. That triggers you too much. That's not keeping you safe.

I hope today is peaceful and more.

What you said about not wanting to contact your T out of session reminded me of what someone said in a feminist consciousness raising group I attended briefly in the 70's. One of the women had been in therapy and talked about her process. She said that at the beginning she was always contacting her T between session, saying "Get me out of my life!" but later, when T started working, she felt less of a need to. I know I wouldn't call a T at night unless I were actively suicidal or something similar, but I also suspect T's expect more upset phone calls at the beginning before T and skills have started to work.