What I feel was needed and what I hoped for was that the lines of communication which were broken as never before - could be opened again. Instead it seems that both of them have formed an alliance against me. Nothing has been done to help my son re-establish communication and today I told both my children i never want to see either of them again - but thats only because that reciprocates what they've done to me. I needed help on all those issues and they are all turning their back on me. Now I'm angry at everyone including the doctor which is part of my BPD problem anyway so the way i see it is that after seeing him about 2 months things are much worse about as bad as it can get. i won't ask my children again because it would put me on the same level as a beggar and as someone who was always there for them I'm just trying to wrap my mind around this huge abandonment I always dreaded. it's here and everything my life is totally destroyed what little was left.