I empathize with you as I am in a similar state. I'm fed up - my entire life has consisted of doling out the care and concern and support to others and now that I need it they've all turned away. So I have given up - in fact i told my children I care not to see either of them ever again. Before Christmas everything was cool and then the floor dropped out from under me.

My therapy, btw, like yours, seems to have taken a destructive turn.

I don't have any answers for you because I'm looking for the same ones. I just that that may knowing that others have similar feelings mught help you at least in not feeling so alone, which does truly suck.