I am sorry you feel so trapped about expressing your feelings that the only relief is in cutting. I know that place just all too well. It does help me to reach out and talk about it as much as I can bare. That is hard in it'self. I am thinking about you and wishing you peace. Wish I had something witty and happy to tell you. Well, how's this? A friend of mine called me a few weeks ago about how this really nutty woman had dumped these 7 rabbits lose on a mutual friend's farm. The rabbits are tame domestics and survival on a non-working, no food in winter farm is unlikely. she asked me what to do. Well, being ever better at limit setting I said; "if you can have a heart them I will find them homes". She called today and they have caught four. I said okay, I'll come over with my carrying cages and get them. I didn't even sex them, they look like standard rex, I think. well, I picked up one to put it in the travel cage and SHE is very pregnant with nipples extended and as soon as I put her in the cage with hay in the nest box she crawled in. It appears I will be grammy again before morning. And I am trying to set limits, huh. I hope this makes you smile at least because even in my own pain right now I can see those bunnies out there with expensive rabbit food, hay and water and know they are safe. And know that these babies will have a chance. Plus they are cute. Anyone want a bunny? keep trying hun, it's the best we all can do.