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Takeshi · Mar 30, 2015, 07:22 AM

I'm not liking what I'm feeling right now. Shame. I'm having a hangover from how I've been acting all day, I haven't had a single drop, the thoughts of drinking never occurred to me today.

On one hand, I can and have been actively abstaining from alcohol, but this? The similarities are just so eerie.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I can say one of my pet peeves is that when things don't go right I instantly wish I was dead. What is that?

I am wired the same way, what is that?

Possible trigger:

I neither like nor dislike this part of me. I do not self harm with an exception of starving myself a little. I wonder if it'd be diffrent if I were able to self harm or made an actual plan. Would they buy some time? Could they possibly be a healthy way to cope if the mind feels so insane? For me personally, it's an ultimate get out of jail free card, it'll be on my own terms. Contrarily to the thought itself, it's keeping me alive most of the time but when the **** hits the fan...guess y'all know what it's like.

If anyone reading this has done an extensive research on this subject and think you can help, please PM me with some materials(Links, PC threads, blog posts, umm...books, y not?)