I agree with the last 2 posters who responded to your question, regardless of whatever you have or have not done in that relationship, there are ways to terminate that are ethical & professional & there are ways that are not. She betrayed you in doing things the way she did, she was very unprofessional in what she chose to do & that's why I've said to you that it's HER problem, not yours.

It's hard not knowing why, I get that. You're left hanging with no closure, all you can do is speculate & it sucks, it really does. But countertransference is a good point, this can be something therapists find hard to face & admit to directly when dealing with clients (some do but from what I understand the majority keep it to themselves) & maybe that was her way out of having to do so with you? No one knows, the only person who TRULY knows why is your T & I agree that she may not be completely honest about it if other people were to ask her, particularly other professionals.

I wouldn't necessarily look at it as you've done something wrong but rather she was unskillful in how she handled you as a client. Regardless of what you've done, she should be able to handle things way better than she did. She is the professional & she is the one with responsibility to act ethically in such situations & she failed you by not doing so. Keep the responsibility where it should lie, with her, NOT with you.

I'm encouraged reading about how you're doing, kudos to you for doing all that you can for yourself & pushing through this adversity, you're doing very well & I look forward to hearing more about your journey as you go forward! What you describe happening to you with the going back to rethinking things with your T is completely normal & is a part of the grief & acceptance of a loss process. You may not be able to accept everything right now & that's okay, it will happen over time & eventually you will be in a better place about all of this. Best of luck & I wish you happiness & peace in whatever you do!