I hate the paranoia, not being able to tell if what I'm feeling is true or just the Bipolar. Feeling trapped in myself, feeling no one cares at the drop of a hat. When I'm down, things things I love don't bring my joy. The constant thinking and dissection of every action of me and others. Conversations in my head, constantly trying to solve issues that are not as big as I make them. Feeling helpless and stuck that the only way out is with a bullet to the head. Thinking then I can finally relax.