Really well. I was happy when I went to sleep, and I'm happy now! Happy = smiling, content, calm... I so wish she could be my T. Darn boundaries

There's three bits of wisdom she imparted to me:

1. Trust: She said to think of the termination with my T as a breakup with a boyfriend. If you break up with a bf, you still put yourself back out there to find love again. You allow yourself to be vulnerable once more in the hopes of finding love. But of course, you take things slowly. She said we do it over and over again when we lose relationships and make new ones. She said it's the same with my new T. My T broke my heart, but I need to risk being vulnerable again in order to try and find growth with the new T. Trust takes time and it will happen when the time is right.

2. Perspective: I told her I'm having difficulties because I don't know which part of my relationship with my T was authentic and which were lies. She told me that I will never know, but that's actually not what's important. What's important is what I experienced. Did I feel loved, comforted, supported, cared for? If so, then that was real...for me. My T's termination doesn't change what I experienced with her prior. I was able to grow with my T. That's what's important.

3. Grieving vs. wallowing: She explained that wiith grieving it's similar to having to walk through mud. You acknowledge it and feel it, but keep going forward. With wallowing, you stop and start rolling around in the mud.

She suggested I write my T a letter (ex-T). It doesn't matter if I send it or not. And I could bring it to new T to read so she understands. But she said that I should express directly to my T all my thoughts and feelings. Even if I choose to send it, a response won't matter. Even if I got an answer I was looking for, I wouldn't necessarily believe it nor would it change what happened. But I need the opportunity to express myself to her in order to move forward. I do think I'm going to try this. I have written my thoughts and feelings over and over again about this. So maybe if I write it to her, that will help me?

She also gave me permission to call her again in a few weeks to update her She really is an awesome woman.