Some are good and some are bad. How do you guys deal with this? Has anyone been able to shake off or manage their bad ones?

Mine is being on my PC and playing video games. I started this since I was in middle school and now I'm turning 26 this year. It allowed me to escape from the real world that I so desperately struggled with and wanted to avoid as much as possible. It was a place where I could make a personality to people who completely don't know me online in order to feel any kind of normalness. It's good in the aspect that it also became an alternative to doing drugs when I was younger and putting aside thoughts of severe depression and suicide.

However, I guess I need to tell and convince myself somehow that this is not entirely good either. I am always glued to my computer playing games for countless hours everyday. I've been like this for my entire childhood and teenage years. It just seems impossible to change this and I don't know if I will even be able to. I guess I need to somehow manage and cut back from all of my time I spend playing video games. I have never had a "real" relationship nor any type of sexual relations. I don't really have any friends either, I'm not able to create or sustain a friendship with people. People I know are more just like acquaintances. I find myself awkward and extremely uncomfortable in any type of social setting. I have difficulty expressing my thoughts and emotions. I was always the person who had little to nothing to say and was always quiet. I always get lost in the middle of saying something, stutter frequently and often completely lose my train of thought. Social anxiety isn't something that really helps...I also have a chronic skin illness that I got in high school and only made things like ten times more worse. How do I change if I've been like this forever and this is the only thing that I know?

Maybe I'll bring this up with my T at my next meeting on Wednesday. That's if I feel I'm up to it at that moment.

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