due to one of my traumas being medical i have some parts that keep us in line and away from any doctors or medical help
this is obviously a problem because we're still very much suffering... only without any way of getting help

i've tried reaching out before but either fear takes over, everyone being reminded the whole time that doctors are only here to hurt us
or our agreeable carer comes out to agree with everything the doctor says, anything in order for us to get out as quick as possible without leaving any impression
anyway what i need is some advice on how i might be able to tell my new t the truth about my situation
i want to write a letter saying some things but i don't know how to get it to her
the last time i went i had a piece of paper with the things i wanted to talk about and as soon as i was in her office i switched and the paper was not even in existence until i'd left the building afterwards and was back to me
so i just am not sure how to get around that
maybe if i just keep it in my hand the entire time in the waiting room?
but what if i get triggered before she comes out and one of us puts it away before she sees?
i don't have an email for her
it's hard enough just trying to write some of it down without switching to denial and suddenly my truth is just a fictional story created by a very pathetic and disturbed, attention-seeking loser
who knows what to believe but that's off topic, advice on how to get through to t please!