I literally wake up in the mornings and my default state is sad. I hate it. I feel like I will never be able to have a steady job because of my issues.
I have dealt with depression my whole life. And was misdiagnosed at 19 for bipolar. I acquired PTSD in my teens because I was a runaway and was being beaten to shreds by my ex boyfriend while I was pregnant. Starting from 21 years of age, I was a meth addict for 3 straight years and I was what you could call a functioning addict. No one knew that I was spun out all day and all night because I hid it well.
I decided to get clean, by myself. My family has no Idea I'm a recovering meth addict and I never went to any rehab facility. I should go to NA meetings, but anything is a trigger for me and I hear that as ridiculous as it is, there's a lot of drugs at NA meetings.
I am 25 now and as a result, I now have SEVERE anxiety, PTSD, depression and I guess you could say That misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder is no longer a misdiagnosis. I refuse to take medication because it's just simply not something I agree with.
I think my family thinks something is wrong with me because they have no idea why I act strangely and have so many social issues now and I'm no longer confident like I was.
I am slowly but surely overcoming my addiction, but that's not to say I have a grasp on my "sadness".
I started this account to maybe talk to others who are going through life without prescription meds, but it seems like meds are the main discussions I've been finding.
I don't know why I am writing this publicly. Me doing so makes me feel as if I'm thirsty for attention or looking for replies. I'm not. I guess I just needed to vent and this seemed like the right place. Some days are worse than others.

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