I understand how you feel. Past experiences with the opposite sex, regardless of their nature, can be very powerful. You feel like you will always be treated the same way. It doesn't help that it is socially acceptable to make fun of, belittle, and publicly humiliate men simply because they are men. Men are openly spoken of as being stupid, immature, violent, and predatory. We are considered unnecessary. It's sexist. Not all women have those attitudes of course, but it's very intimidating if you are shy or have issues with self esteem. I struggle with this too.

Don't ever call yourself a beta. You are who you are, and you are infinitely valuable. Whenever you start calling yourself names stop immediately. You may still feel lousy, but get out of the habit of verbally tearing yourself down.

I LOVE the website "The Art of Manliness". There is a lot of great practical advice about things men struggle with.

One of my heros is Theodore Roosevelt. It helps to to keep guys you admire in mind. It's the way we work, we naturally model ourselves after our dads. Then go out and do what you need to do. Act. It's not easy, but keep working at it.

Christina Hoff Sommers has written some books about attacks on men and boys in our society. She has some articles in different places online. The point isn't to think that women are terrible, or to get a chip on your shoulder, but to hear a perspective, from a woman, that acknowledges some of the hurtful and pedjudicial things directed at men. Then guys like you and me have to man up, take responsibility, and learn to really appreciate and understand women as they really are.