Quote:
Originally Posted by manicattack
My husband has difficulty understanding that when my bipolar is cycling (I usually have rapid cycling episodes), I act differently because I am trying to cope with my feelings and symptoms without medication. Sometimes this means I am not a very affectionate person. I try to balance it out, but it doesn't always work out. He takes my symptoms (withdrawal, irritation) personally and starts fights with me, which then causes me to feel worse.
He is currently in counseling. He has jealousy/trust issues and after a truly horrible time, I told him he either got help or we get divorced.
I have been off medication for four years (ever since we got together) and have handled my issues fairly well. I have not been hospitalized nor have I had any episodes that I haven't been able to handle on my own.
Currently, I am in a severe depressive state. I came down from mania and my husband is not understanding that I am NOT neglecting him or ignoring him or cheating on him (those are his feelings on it- if I'm not giving him sex I'm cheating). He feels like I'm not happy with him (not true, other than right now, because he's truly making me miserable on top of everything else I'm already experiencing) and I'm so TIRED of repeating myself.
I am at a loss. I want him to just understand and give me space without making it into some negative thing, which seems impossible for him. When I ask him to just back off, he takes offense and it turns into a fight.
I truly love my husband, but I'm wondering if it is just impossible for us to be together because he is so emotionally needy and I need to feel free to take time to myself when I'm having bouts of mania/depression.
Any thoughts?
|
It is understandable in some ways why our families take issue with the symptoms of our disease. But it is my position that it is incumbent on them if they are not battling their own demons, to go the extra mile, to read and find out so that they know it is not just you. No one that I know of yells at someone who gets cancer and says "how dare you". It is the ultimate insult and stigma of mental disorders that we are deprived of the love and support others receive when they are challenged. All manner of help and support is available to people facing challenges but it is the loneliest most heartbreaking aspect of mental illness that we are deprived of the love that could make such a big difference. I do not know the answer, I only know that it seems "not fair". I have told my children that life is not fair and it isn't. But our families are not random acts that can be not fair they are people who either choose to support us or not. The pain of my own mental issues to deal with is bad enough but the even more cruel blow is that my family has abandoned me. But they don't think they are they think they are practicing tough love - trying to teach me a lesson in manners which is ludicrous because I was brought up to and have always said thank you for everything I have always looked out for the feelings of others so to now find myself on the receiving end of TOUGH LOVE is heartbreaking and every day is a struggle to get thru one more day of loneliness and heartbreak. So you have my sympathies and understanding which is all I have to give now for what its worth.