(((Aurialia))) You've out grown those places of and there is no safety in that. Only more loss and grief. You've suffered enough and deserve to start feeling and living again. Grief is a process and going back to those old places will only slow down this process. I know you're hurting terribly. I know the pain is unbearable. I know the pain will never go away but you can get to a point where you can bear it if you just hang in there. Be strong and take courage, capture those old thoughts and make them obedient. Do not give in to them. You are too precious.