I lasted five days....

13 days off alcohol and fail
Five days without matches and shizizzle...

And today I have to go to the therapist's and explain why I wish I'd NEVER told him about the SI! It involves me not thinking he gets it. He may just lose it and throw me out leaving me in a HUGE black hole which might be enough to make me jump under a train....

I am VERY SCARED!!

Even Xanax isn't helping the fear!

FT