I am so tired of it - nothing EVER goes right in my life, never has.

I feel like I have a target on my back or something.

And I get told "You're so likeable, so kind, blah blah blah". So that's what you get in return for that, a big fat zero. No, change that, a minus ten.

Sometimes it just seems like I'm putting in time until I die (not suicidal - meaning die whenever it happens).

Even friends and family have noticed it - nothing is ever lucky, smooth, etc. for me. Do I bring it on myself? Is it what I freaking deserve?