Quote:
Originally Posted by sideblinded
A Little Lost ((hugs))
Your post made me want to hug myself as I thought back to when my dad walked right out of my life. I was 10. I did not deserve that. I did not cause that. The pain from that didn't just manifest as pain. It continued to ravage me my whole life because I lacked the ability to attach to a man ever since. I didn't know what men were for. I didn't know who they were as my mom did not remarry. I could not learn any of this as I continued to grow up. I don't have any words of wisdom for you as I am also feeling my pain. I am human.
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You have to have lived it - that's my advice to those who say that whatever your life was does not qualify you to have any complaints or problems. There is no way to say things that will fully reveal the amount of suffering that went on for years.
It takes years to figure out the total picture when we were growing up. Children accept whatever home they were born into as the way it is when an adult would recognize that the home might be totally unacceptable.
For myself, I blamed myself for not measuring up - it took me a long time to realize the cruelty my mother inflicted - criticizing me without any suggestion how to fix the alleged fault of mine. You don't cut your child down and then leave it hurting and blaming themselves. A parents job is to teach, not to cut down and move on. I'm glad you have at least begun to take a critical look at the values you were raised with.
I'm glad you thought of hugging yourself, I hope you did and i hope it felt just right.