Right now I'm going through this pseudo denial situation about being bipolar.

I had an awful day. An anxious day. I couldn't stop thinking about my last episode and how that could have happened to me. I'm 32 years old! Why would I suddenly have a very bad mania induced psychotic situation? It has never happened to me before. And for that matter, how could it have been possible? I'm bipolar type 2. It seems like it happened to a different person or something.

I hate this.

Can anyone else relate? Has anyone else experienced denial, despite the evidence pointing otherwise?

Seriously, sorry about this post. Bad day, upset, conflicted.

And now I feel like I'm on an up swing again. Already! My last episode or whatever was at the end of January. I can't concentrate or focus on any of my projects. I've been pacing. I can't stop moving (well, except for right now obviously). I've been having racing thoughts again. If it wasn't for the seroquel knocking me out at night I'm pretty sure I'd be up all night trying to figure out what certain phrases mean, etc., and once again contemplating the workings of the universe. And it fills me with dread and anxiety. Seriously. This CAN NOT happen to me again!