Hey I'm a 22 year old female and I hope this is what I've been dealing with as well. I hope you feel better after all these posts and I'm sure you've been reading up on 100 sites like I have, and I've gotten to a point where I've just said 'yup so be it then I am,' but then I panick and yell at myself in my head 'no in not!' It just doesn't feel right, nor would that make me happy. The thought terrifies me yet my mind plays such tricks on me. I've never EVER questioned it until now and it disgusts me because I want to grow old happily with a MAN and have children yet these pests of thoughts won't let me think clearly. You're not alone I promise.