This is embarrassing.

Im 24 and have never been to the gynecologist. I've only had 3 sexual partners, all of whom I was in relationships with.

These 3 sexual partners were women. I haven't been with a man.

Since I don't sleep around, and I was in long term relationships with these women, I never really bothered to see a doctor because I haven't had to worry about STD's.

But now, im starting to worry about cervical cancer. My mom tells me that I need to make an appointment because cancer is so common in women my age.

But I am so embarrassed at the thought of somebody down there staring at my lady station. Oh my God. I dont want ANYONE looking at me like that or touching me. How am I going to put my legs up in stirrups and not die of embarrassment????

Im going to request a woman doctor, definitely, because i'll feel more comfortable. But still, I am going to be humiliated and I cant take that.

ALSO: I watched a video on YouTube about how the procedure is done so I would know exactly what to expect. In this video, after the doctor checked the patient's vagina, SHE HAD TO PUT HER FINGER IN THE PATIENTS **** to check that out too. Um...WHAT???

Are you kidding me? Do they really do that? I will die.

On top of all this, I don't like pain. Everyone says the exam doesnt hurt but, then again, some of my friends said that it hurt during AND AFTER the exam. Like a crampy feeling.

How am I supposed to get over these fears? If you were scared, like me, how did you get through it? What if my doctor berates me because I waited so long to make an appointment?

I did make an appointment the other day but chickened out at the last minute. The morning of the appointment, I woke up and just started crying. I drove all the way to the office but then lost it when I parked.

I do not usually cry over things in front of other people. But when im scared, sometimes I cant control the tears. God forbid I start balling while im actually sitting in the chair.