For the past couple of months I have really been feeling Down, empty, guilty, and Kind of disconnected with everything, shut out, its hard to explain. I feel alone in the way I feel. I'm down ALOT when i'm by myself and sometimes when people are around.I still laugh and act normal with my friends even if it hurts to do so. I get agitated and irritable easily with everything. I feel restless (Also hard to explain).

I HATE being around everyone in my family. I live with my dad step-mom and 3 siblings in Germany (military). Whenever i'm around them this rage and anxiety builds in me. I feel worthless and I cant do anything right EVER which leads to stronger helpless feelings and my parents don't help as they seem to talk to me like i'm too dumb to comprehend anything. I feel so demotivated and I can't concentrate my grades have slipped drastically. But something that really scared me is when I started losing interest in the things that I love to do and music seems not to be as good anymore. I feel helpless and it drives me to a rage because when I try to figure out why I feel more helpless,sad, and angry because I cant fix it.

Also i have been craving and eating so much sugary and junky food it frightens me and when I realize this I kinda chuckle (Not in a good way) I feel crazy. cuz when i feel good i feel like im overreacting to everything till im alone again with my thoughts. Also if im feeling down around people who are happy and are trying to socialize with me is it normal for it to hurt when I try to be happy when Im not?