Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Maybe I'm misunderstanding. Are you saying that you have male friends who are your age and who are unattached romantically and that you hang out with them? If that's the case, I can see where most married men would not be too cool with that. Having an unattached male friend stop by for a meal with both you and your husband would be more appropriate.
That doesn't even seem to be the biggest issue. Your husband seems to be very unavailable to you for moral support. To not be able to vent about a stressful day at work seems very unfair. Doesn't he like to be listened to about how his day went? He seems to not have much cconcept about what marriage is all about. All those jealous accusations would certainly get pn my nerves. No one should have to keep denying false charges. You have every right to get sick of that.
|
I have two male friends that I used to be close with. Both are romantically attached to someone else. We have been invited to hang with them numerous times, but because I am friends with the guy in these couples, my husband says it is weird and he doesn't want to be around them. I am free to go by myself, he will say. But if I do, I know he will hold it over my head later.
He did last night, actually. One of them invited us to a barbecue two summers ago, and my husband chose to start a fight right before said barbecue and no longer wanted to go. So I went by myself, and had dinner with my friend and his girlfriend (whom I am not friends with, as well) and several other people. I chose to go, and I do not feel guilty, and I shouldn't. But after having a good night last night, he brought up how I left the other night to get away from our fight. And then again how I left two summers ago to the BBQ. Like, because he's upset with me, and fighting with me about something, I am supposed to just sit at home and wait for him to be okay.
Last Wednesday I did leave and went and hung out with a friend and I didn't want to come in late and wake him up since he gets up at 3:30am, so I crashed with my friend. I let him know where I was and who I was with and that I would be home in the morning. He held it against me last night that I left. I told him I wasn't going to sit there all night in the bedroom because he was upset and told me he wants me on medication all because I told him my windshield wipers stopped working. He said it had nothing to do with windshield wipers but everything combined. I asked, "Like what?" and his response was that I am negative a lot and he can't handle it, and he wants me to go to counseling and get on medication to "even out" my moods. My moods are level except when he's badgering me.
I'm beginning to think it really is not me, it is him, and he needs medication. He stopped taking anti-depressants two years ago after claiming they don't do anything for him (lie).
Let me just state this: I am bipolar. I did go through several weeks of mania and I came down last week, so I was a little more quiet and did have a few more complaints (mainly because of my vehicle and work, two of my largest stresses). But I ALSO told him all about how I'm excited to start my side business up again and I've been preparing and I'm really happy- but he doesn't hear that. It's like he just wants me to never complain, EVER, and if I do, I need medication and counseling.
He's not getting it, though. So I told him last night that I will go on medication. Whatever. I'll give it a few months and if he is still being like this, I'm done...I will know that it is NOT me, it is him.