Oh, yes, this is definitely how others feel, even if they don't develop PTSD. Over our Human History, the reason that religions of all kinds developed is so human beings can have explainations for all the things that can happen that can completely change the course of one's life.

The human mind develops a storage of setting up a subconscious file that we get comfortable with as we experience our lives. It is like having a house and just knowing where everything is, the light switches, how everything is furnished, the windows we can look out of, where the bathroom is etc. We can do a lot of things almost on automatic because we just get to know where everything is. You know, think about when you do need something and suddenly can't find it, the effort and even stress it takes in trying to locate this "thing" you suddenly need, it's somewhere, where could it be, where did I put it? Well, that experience of not knowing the location, is what happens in our brain when we don't have that "auto pilot" going on. That is what "trauma" does, but in a much bigger way. You know, one of the most stressful things "noted" is when someone "moves from one house to another". It is listed as one of the top stressors, because it does cause a person to have to go from one organized environment into another one and actually start all over and it's a challenge for a while until one slowly gets used to their new environment. That is where the term, "settling in" comes from.

You had a "change" take place in your life, a big one, so when these changes happen, settling in can become a much bigger challenge. Each person is different in how they finally "grieve" and then slowly settle down again and move forward in their life again.
Sleeping alone is a challenge too, after all, the brain doesn't always "just" know what to do with a major life change. That is where "therapy" can help, because in therapy, if the therapist is really in tune with how they need to actually "help" an individual work through this challenge, in time, the talking through how it has disrupted one's mind, can slowly help the patient find a way to accept the change, and move forward "in spite of it".

When anyone faces the loss of a family member or someone close that is big part of their subconscious/emotional world, it's definitely a huge adjustment. One is forced to think about "life" in a very different way.

Glad to hear you are doing better Alisha, patience is the key, understanding that you are only "human" is also important too, and that yes, often a big change can be somewhat of a lonely personal journey towards coming to terms with this big change too.

((Caring Hugs))
OE