Quote:
Originally Posted by A Little Lost
You misunderstand when you say after years of detriment they cannot forget or understand - it has not been years, it has been the past 3 months that everything fell apart and while they may not deserve to be yelled at I did not deserve to be abandoned. I am trying very hard - I am the one who has admitted to my mental/emotional problems so it seems to me that like any other disease they would support me. All they have done to me is, just like my mother, abandon me. My mother was not there for me when among other things I was gang-raped or when my husband abused me she said "what did you do to make him do that". My sons have done to me what I was trying to heal from her.
I'm lost and hopeless and I do resent your statement that they are somehow right to turn their back on me. I have been a loving mother to both of them for over 40 years but now that I need help that doesn't seem to matter. I accept that I give up I just want everyone to stop saying i'm this or that, it was always my fault with my mother - no chance to explain just blanket guilt. Can't I ever just once in my life support me? The answer it appears is NO. I did not choose to have BPD like others did not choose to have cancer yet cancer patients are not yelled at and abandoned.
|
I am assuming your mental health issues did not crop up out of nowhere. Have you been struggling with them for some time but they just became very prominent recently?
For the record, my own mother abandoned me after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She booted me out of her house and I was homeless, so I very much understand your feelings. It is really horrible to feel like you are judged and not given the understanding you need when dealing with a mental health disease. This is just how it is- and no it is not fair, just like it is not fair when people are diagnosed with cancer.
People cannot see our internal issues. While they see the BEHAVIORAL side of things (raging, sadness, mania, etc), they do not see the internal pain we are causing ourselves.
What is their reasoning for not wanting to help? Have they told you? Have you ALWAYS been close to them and then after diagnosis they cut you off?