when you asked if there is a polite way to get out of things so you can avoid people altogether, I totally get that. Especially at the last minute I never want to go. I hate having to socialize in groups. I just sit there and do not say anything, and if a topic comes up that i can contribute to and I say something, people don't really pay attention and then i just feel stupid. my husband's family is so outgoing whenever we are at a family gathering (and they gather for just about everything. ugh.) i am so out of place, even after almost 8 years...