But keep being pushed back in. Not sure why I'm posting, I just need to vent I guess. I feel I have nobody to talk to. I have alienated everyone that has been in my life. I just stopped bothering with people. I can't hold a conversation. I have nothing to say and don't want to hear anything anyone else has to say. But I can't go to anyone for support or help now because I have pushed them all away. I feel so hopeless. Everything is falling apart still. I have been trying so hard to think positive and to take small steps to put my life back together. I am finally able to get out and interview for jobs. That was impossible a few months ago. I have thought about possibly going to school. I have at least been considering that I could actually have a normal life and maybe even be somewhat happy. But things just keep going downhill. That has been my life story. Whenever I am doing somewhat well something has to go wrong to screw it up. I can't deal with the stress anymore. I am a basket case and like I said I feel totally alone on this earth. I am ruining my bf's life and I just feel like I don't want to be here anymore, but I know that I would hurt people and that would be selfish of me I guess. I guess I have to stick around and take the crap and be miserable. Lucky me. No reason to respond, I just needed to let it out.

Bree