((((((((((((((((((Patty))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks Patty.

Interesting phone conversation last night......

I really surprised myself in how calm I was.

We had a long conversation about the situation and I listened very carefully to his responses....... he was quite happy to lie some of the problems at my feet and yes maybe my reaction where not the best. It came down to a negative experience which is the bond which we share. One which was his choice not mine.

I also asked had he researched, has an understanding of what I am experiencing (the depression I am going through because of his actions) to this he answer no.

He then became very very angry.....I asked him not to speck to me in that way and held my cool.

After the phone call I felt "normal" I wasn't angry, I wasn't sad.....just tired and ready for bed.

I realised this morning that he is selfish and part of our relationship...was that I was good for his ego. Now he has a new boast to his ego and I have become redundant.

I think I'm OK with that, because I know the real reason for his actions.

I'm OK with this because I know I can move on. Its not about pride and love.....it’s about getting to the truth of the matter. Solving a mystery which has eluded and confused and hurt me for so long.

This because I let him know exactly why I didn't trust him....information that he thought I didn't know. He now knows that his "pretence" of being all knowledgeable and caring has been discovered.

As Patty said the mind games have been discovered and I refuse to play them.

It’s a little bit hard to write this down because part of me really wants him to be good. I don't hate him I just know that I can not trust him and that is fundamental for any relationship to work.

Patty you are so right that loving relationship are meant to make you feel loved and secure, I certainly don't feel this way with him.

I thankyou all for your support and words of wisdom and I hope other can learn through my experiences.

GodBless
SpringStar