Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I keep looking for some sort of magical answer that will take this pain away. I know it doesn't exist, but I keep looking 
And you're not an a-hole for having a life. I have no expectations of when or if someone responds to my posts. Been here long enough to not overreact to that 
I'm sorry all that happened to you. I don't understand how people can treat others in such a way, least alone therapist. Why make promises or agreements to things you cannot or will not follow through on? I understand that if something unexpected comes up and changes plans (a move, an emergency, a crisis)... I hope you find a good T when you continue your search!
I'm trying to be patient with myself. Taking care of myself...not succeeding in that area; not failing either. Doing things I enjoy is something I've been trying to do. My main things are trying to stay busy, reach out when I need to, keep all my appts, and sleep when I'm tired.
I'm surprised, I'm actually looking forward to seeing my new T Thurs. I'm not panicking at all. I'm just really curious about her, who she is. Only thing that I am scared about is opening up to her. But I'm trying to tell myself that I'll be okay and that I know my boundaries.
But now I have a new stressor: my fiance might be quiting his job tomorrow. Basically, the CFO of his company refused to pay a bill since they started a contract of another company months ago. So the company demanded payment by 5pm, and the CEO and CFO didn't do anything. So my fiance is going to try to get the hardware back from the company. If he can't, the whole project he created and was working on goes down the drain. A 1.5 million dollar a month! deal will not be signed with my fiance's company. So he'll of wasted the past year putting in 60 hrs a week and only getting paid for 5. I don't know much about business, but I'm smart enough to know you pay your bills!!! /sigh
Btw, the bill is only $17k. Losing a 1.5 million dollar deal over 17k. Real smart! |
You're doing just fine Scarlet. You have a good plan, I was very flattered when you asked me for advice, partly because of how well you are doing yourself & also because I'm not the greatest at giving advice.
Hold up... how in the hell can he (your fiancé) work 60 hours a week & then only get paid for 5??? What is his occupation, like in general what does he do??? That sounds SO wrong to me, I mean wrong as in unfair to him!
Fingers crossed he somehow can hold his job & not quit tomorrow... but why is he quitting though??? I don't get it, I'm slow!
But yeah, I'm mostly past the explosion with T 2... I can handle what happened with T1, but T2 really burns me because I spent a whole year with her & really feel like I accomplished very little & the way she handled termination it feels like I took steps backwards... I honestly feel like T1 did more for me in 2 months than she did for a year & that's sad... it's just kind of been stuffed down & I'll probably have to dig it up momentarily once I get a new T at the beginning, because it will affect my ability to trust & open up, so I may have processing to do about that... T3 wasn't helpful at all, she was so distant & unengaged & wouldn't even let me talk about my previous experiences at all, acted as if it was nothing when in fact it is a lot of what makes me who I am right now therapywise & wouldn't that be relevant for a future T to know??? Helllooooo????
But yeah, that's the book on me! I'm doing ok, all things considered, thank you for your empathy & kind words for me & I'll definitely be keeping tabs on you!
I didn't see the thread you made & said you couldn't handle what people wrote in response to it, but I totally respect what you say about not wanting to talk about the letter! No problem at all, if it bothers you too much, it's all good, I'm sure you can tell us about many other things!
Hope you're having a good day over there, take care!