Wow 15 years and still heartbroken is a long time. My suggestion is to try a new counselor. Life is too short to be miserable and wishing you had something you don't. I suffer from green grassitis. I always think the grass is greener on the other side. Sometimes I have to take a step back and realize how blessed I am and count my blessings.

Maybe cutting all ties with him might be a good idea. I read a quote about hugging a cactus. The harder you hold on to the cactus the more it hurts. Seems like you have been holding on for so long and it's still painful and you can't heal.