I SO understand this post. Think I could have written it myself. If it helps, you're not alone. Not at all. When it was posted, my therapy dynamic/my therapist's boundaries, had not changed. Soon after they did, however, and I've been worse since. I was pretty bad before. If I was to go over the edge, this probably would have been the time. I am continuing with therapy and trying to regain a connection I felt has been lost with my T (I still feel her connection to me, but I don't feel the same connection with her I did before...but I'm trying!)

But I'm proud of myself that I was able to tell her I feel like I'm getting worse instead of better, to which she replied it is normal to get worse before you get better...she believes this is it, and will go uphill from here on out. Do I believe her? Nope. But I have enough uncertainty to give it a try. I've only been in therapy for 10 months (twice weekly sessions though)...and I hate to throw all of that away. I will NOT go through the therapy process again, so I want to get past this with my T, who I really do adore, and stay as long as it takes.