Quote:
Originally Posted by Raindropvampire
Is it right? No. Is it ok? No. Should he respect your wishes? Absolutely. But you can't control him or what he says, only your reaction to it. My mother loves to tell ANYONE that will listen about her crazy daughter and the hell I put her through. She often embellishes the story and leaves out any part that is not flattering to her. It used to drive me bat crap. Which then gave her more gossip about how I try to control what she says about me and how mean I am. SO since I can't change her I changed my reaction. I decided in the long run it's just words. Anyone that even remotely knows me knows it's all BS and taken out of context. If her life is so empty she has to gossip about me to feel better than so be it. If she has to make herself the martyr and soak up other's pity that's her damage not mine. What she says about me doesn't change who I am or what I think about myself. Would I prefer she kept my business to herself? oh absolutely but it's just not going to happen.
You have my utmost sympathy I know how infuriating this is.  |
It's unbelievably aggravating. Part of what makes it so frustrating is that he'll throw in a few positive remarks about me along with the embarrassing details about my mental illness (but even these positive comments are often incorrect- again, the man knows very little about me because I purposely tell him very little). Which means that he can say that I'm just overreacting when I ask him to stop.
But the thing is, I shouldn't even have to ask him to stop anymore. It's my mental illness and I don't want him to describe it to others behind my back. Once I asked him to stop years ago, he should have respected my reasonable preference and stopped. It doesn't matter if he thinks he could get advice for me from the people he talks to or whether he thinks he's portraying me in an overall positive light. I've made it clear that it's not helping me but he's so arrogant that he thinks he knows what my privacy boundaries should be better than I do.
It's such a disconcerting feeling of powerlessness and vulnerability. When someone thinks they have more of a right to your personal information than you do.