Hi all,

I'm a 32 year old male and am doing pretty well in life - except in relationships. Finding a girl to date isn't usually a problem, but convincing myself to stay with a girl and be vulnerable and emotionally intimate is a challenge.

Here is my cycle. I see/meet a girl that I think is cute. We start dating. I'm really good at pursuing her and then about a month in (at some point when I know she is into me) something just clicks and all of a sudden I don't think she is attractive anymore. I lose interest with my heart and can't even really visualize myself kissing her. Obviously I start to check out, even though I don't really want to. Girls realize this and then they become insecure and want more assurance that I'm actually committed to a relationship. My anxiety levels build and then, boom, I call the whole thing off. During this whole process I don't do anything that I know will or could hurt someone. Even during the initial excitement phase I am never physically intimate beyond making out.

Something that is always hard for me, is that I only date top notch women - at least intelligence and character wise. And they are fun to be with when I'm not stressed.

I'm currently in this cycle and last night the girl I've been dating for 8 weeks and I had a serious heart to heart which left us both really confused.

So the question that I'm always trying to solve is this: 1.) Am I'm just a commitmentphob and need to find a way to move beyond. 2.) or Do I just keep dating girls that I'm actually not attracted to in reality, I just trick myself into thinking they are cute at the start because I really just like 'the pursuit' and once I have a girl I realize I don't actually want to be with them. 3.) or perhaps I'm just trying to hard cerebrally and just need to accept that my heart isn't in it and move on.

For the record I'm a charismatic personality, great listening ENFP who holds a graduate degree. <--- if any of that helps you analyze me. Or if anyone else can relate to any of my dating chaos.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts!