so i'm really sorry since my only post on here has been me venting but i just need to post it.

my t is busy for 3 weeks and can't fit me in, and we had a session today and it felt so different. my t used to be so caring towards me. he would offer to call, and always would, in between sessions to make sure i'm okay. he used to constantly compliment me as well. and when we were together, he would always try and bring my confidence up.

but now it's different and i don't know if it's because he thinks i'm better and don't need so much attention, which should be a good thing, but i am so needy and getting really sad about it. our session today was weird, when i told him about something that was bothering me, he wasnt caring and nice like he usually is, he sort of mocked me and laughed, as if he thought i was joking and didn't need to hear anything nice.

and he usually walks me to the bus stop, which sounds ridiculous, but today he didn't, and just kinda told me he wasn't seeing me for 3 weeks and said bye, and it was just really awkward. usually he asks "are you okay, need me to walk you there?" and waves goodbye when i'm on it, smiling.

i'm not sure what's changed, but lately i feel like he is bored of me and doesn't want to help me as much.

and 3 weeks is a huge gap for me, i've never went not seen him for that amount of time. at the most it's been two weeks. and i remember before that week, he asked me if i'd be okay and offered to call me during it. this time, he didn't even act like it was a problem.

my t does this thing where he sort of treats me "regular", i think it's his way of trying to help me, and sometimes it works, because i am so shy and stuff, and he sort of ignores me when i moan and groan and whine, about silly things, in order to make me grow up, but sometimes i don't need that side of him, and i need him to care. which he used to. he used call me pet names as well, which sounds sad, but they cheered me up because i felt love. they were things like "sweetheart" and "lovely", and now he doesn't do that either. i just feel like he's changed and i'm feeling very lonely, especially as i can't tell him since it's going to be a while until i see him. i'm really needing to talk.