Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
"WIFE DUTIES" have changed over time. Gender roles have changed over time. He's living in the past. If that's where he wants to be then, maybe, you should churn the butter, can the preserves, make all the clothes, sew quilts for the beds and raise your own chickens. That would also mean that he should be out with a rifle, hunting all his own meat. And he should be cutting wood for the fire and hand making furniture for the house. Alternatively, he can come into the 21rst century and you both can do what makes sense in the era in which you are living.
Even if just from watching TV a few hours a week, he knows that what is normal today is that, when both husband and wife are busy outside the home, they share duties in the home. He didn't just sail into port from some backward part of the world where they really are living in the stone age. That's why I don't buy that he seriously had all these ridiculous expectations.
I think he had a great sense of satisfaction in getting that house . . . and in getting you to go along with the nutty terms of signing away your rights to equity in that house (which may, or may not have all that much legal standing, if you were to ask a lawyer about it.) But now the novelty of having the house is wearing off . . . so he needs a new project. His new project has been seeing how big of a fool he can make of you.
If he's a natural born slob - and that's what a person who just drops things on the floor sounds like - then that may be a hard-wired component to his personality that is not going to change anytime soon. But you needn't cater to it. Have a small basket that you toss his clean socks into when they come out of the drier. Then put that basket in the bedroom for him to do whatever he likes with. He can match up the socks and put them away, or he can fish around for two-of-a-kind whenever he is getting dressed.
If he's this way when there are just the two of you, what will he be willing to do, if ever there are children in the house? It doesn't sound like you are seriously thinking about leaving this guy, so be careful about the precedents you set. You will be living with them for a long time.
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I couldn't help but laugh at your response. This has to be the greatest response ever. You are so right about living in the past.
I have dried the clothes and asked him to match socks. He refused because it was a wife's job. When I would go to the grocery store I would ask for him to go with me. He said he doesn't like to go for me just to go. Later he said its a women's job. I have seen a variety of men in the grocery store along with women. I have been asking questions because the answers he is giving me didn't make sense. I wanted to see if there could be something wrong with him mentally. Then I thought maybe its me. I have problems and didn't know the wife was to work, go to school, and do all the house chores. So I panicked a bit. After reading all the responses and especially yours. Its not me.
I haven't decided yet to leave. Because he has a hard time with his job (family owned) I'm giving it a chance. Plus, I have six weeks to finish school. I have asked for him to match socks, Well that wasn't good. How can I dare ask that. If he was like this before I would have never married him.
I honestly think he hates his job so bad that the little things I didn't do is where all the blame is going to.
P.S. I don't have time for TV and cant tell you the last time I sat and watched it. There is not enough time during the day.
He walks in with his gym bag and dumps it when you first walk into the bedroom. By the end of the week if I dont pick the clothes up there are five piles of clothes. There laundry basket is maybe 20 feet. Keep walking and dump it.
This is what he is pouting for and this is how I ruined this marriage.