I would have to agree with those who feel it isn't the theology that says that God won't forgive, but the way that it has been presented by some churches and some individuals. It saddens me that there are some who believe that way, but I guess there are. When your spirit, (or maybe it is the Holy Ghost) tells you through your emotions that something you have been taught is not correct, are you able to consider that it might be specific to that principle, and not the whole of Christianity?

I am Christian too, and I believe in a loving Heavenly Father who wants His children to return to Him. I believe that while none of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes and are in need of forgiveness through the atonement, the opportunity to be forgiven and to accept the atonement is open to all and will be open to all until they have had the opportunity to understand what is offered. Some don't get that opportunity during this life because they have not been taught. That is not because of any wrongdoing on their part, and they will be taught even after death. Nobody will be turned away except for the few who turn away themselves and reject the gospel, with knowlege of what they are rejecting. I feel that I was fortunate to be taught in a religion, and a church, that has this belief. It would just not make sense to me that God would turn his children away and punish them for not having found something that wasn't available to them.

As for being anxious about God's punishment for your sins, of course you should try to do the best that you can, but He knows that we aren't perfect in this life:
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Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Isaiah 1:8

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This verse has long been a comfort to me, and one of my favorites.