I’m sorry you are going through this and sorry for my long response. Relationships are hard and having interferences from family doesn’t always help. I realize they are doing it out of love, but sometimes it’s best for the person to live and learn from their experiences, good or bad. Her mother should let her succeed or fail in her life choices and be there as a sounding board and for support when needed. (my opinion-I have 3 kids, all early 20’s and although I want to tell them what they should or shouldn’t do, I don’t unless they ask, but always end with it’s your life and you have to make the decision.

Her mom sounds controlling and demoralizing in a way. Her daughter is in her 20’s and although as a mom you want to be there to support your child, her daughter is a mother now and needs to take responsibility for herself and her child. Does your gf realize that her mom is basically raising the child? Why doesn’t she move out? It may be hard for her on her own, but she will have so much more self worth and confidence in life itself.

1. I think with what has happened with in the relationship and so many things working against you, 8 months isn’t that long and if circumstances were different, you had more time together, no interferences or limited outside opinion’s and you open up to more communication, things would progress quicker. Is being a father figure to her daughter something you want right now?
2. Her mom is her mom and that will never change, your gf may begin resenting you for your negative feelings towards her mom. I understand your reasons, but her mom did raise her and she turned out well enough for you to fall in love with. Try to look for some positive things to say about her mom, or positive things about your gf that are a direct result of how her mom raised her.
3. I think the best thing would be for her to move out of her mother’s house and be on her own. It will be tough, but overall would be the best. It would give you both more opportunity to spend family or alone time together and help you build on the relationship.
4. It is always amazing to feel loved and you deserve to feel that. I would question how dedicated she is to you based on her behavior with her ex’s and the other man she confided in, then not taking responsibility or at least acknowledging how it made you feel. You both need to find a way to open up the line of communication. Ask her to be open and honest and try to provide her a place that she feels heard and comfortable in talking to you about anything. Don’t judge, put yourself in her place and listen.

It sounds to me like you have taken the time to think and reflect on what you want out of the relationship and how you can better yourself in providing her what she needs. I have to say you are one of very few men that take the time and effort to do so. Great job. Relationships succeed or fail, in my opinion, due to communication and effort.

Good luck.