Are you talking about depression? Have you been diagnosed with the disease? If so, are you seeing anybody and or medication? I can understand the finding me..the pain...hunting you down....maybe stress? Sorry....when I am confronted with depression....its too late...I haven't taken the steps to lesson the impact...or ignored the sings.....pushes me to the bottom.....cannot function......literally........like an invalid.......so please take the necessary steps to ward off your feelings......get healthy....don't let it progress...best of luck...Artie