Unfortunately, many who struggle with being "kind to self" have been somehow taught to self punish. So, you need to slowly learn "how" to be kinder to yourself as you are with others. You may be more forgiving with others because you know what it is like to struggle, you need to slowly learn how to do that for yourself too. Having these memories is actually showing you "where" you have been hurt and what it meant to you in ways you did not realize until recently.

It is like paddling down a long river with challenging things along the way, things you had no experience with before and you did your best to get through each one. After a while as you are gaining in your experience of the journey, you will have a much better understanding of how to address these kind of challenges. You are at the point where you are looking back on some of the challenges and with so much more experience can see these challenges in a very different way. Some of the obstacles may feel scarey looking back too, it doesn't matter if you are remembering it exactly right, just that you are upset right now and you just need to work through whatever it is and "heal".