I have a session today with my T, and I'm feeling guilty about it! I know that I will talk it over with her, but I need to organize my thoughts first, and maybe get a little encouragement/support to talk to her.

My T is usually really good about responding to emails, even if it's just a "I've read your email" response. I've sent her two emails this past week, with no reply. I called her on Tuesday for something, and got her voicemail...in which she states that she's not currently taking new clients. Last week, she wasn't sure until the last minute if she would have to cancel or not.

Normally, my T is super organized, very responsive, and overall, just awesome. So, with the things that have happened in the last week, I get the feeling that she's got some personal stuff going on that is taking up some of her time. I feel guilty for sending her emails, I feel guilty for calling her, and I even feel guilty for having an appointment. I feel like I'm both intruding on her time and taking up time that someone else might need...because I feel like I'm not important enough to need help. Yes, I know, I deserve to go see a therapist, but what if someone else needs her more and I'm taking up a time slot that they could use. Yes, I've had this time slot for almost 6 years, but still...

My T has never given me the impression that I'm intruding. In fact, she often says that I tend to err on the side of not asking for help when I need it because I'm so afraid of being intrusive on her time. This week has just been rough for me and I can really feel T's unavailability right now. Maybe I'm just more sensitive this week than usual. Sigh....I know, talk to T. And I will, but it's hard!!!!