It's good to be confronted....& in reality ED BEHAVIOR IS OUR CHOICE & IT CAN ONLY BE OUR CHOICE TO STOP THE BEHAVIOR. It's just that habits & thoughts processes aren't easy or quick to change but we are the only ones that can do it for ourselves.

Friends do have a choice to deal with our behaviors or not because in reality, when someone is focused on their ED, it ends up being their ONLY FOCUS & we end up being NO ONE'S friend. Friendship is a 2 way street & so many people with an ED just don't focus on anything but that.

Most people with an ED have some serious psychological issues underlying it that have caused it to occur in the first place....usually it's NOT just about wanting to be thin.....many who have ED's have gone through SA, abortions, abusive marriages & the ED in reality is an escape or a way to get away from what is really bothering...or a behavior that has been a way of coping with something difficult in life. There are those with body image problems but the body image issues usually come after the weight loss actually starts & wants to continue. For some young it is the advertising but there is usually something more behind that also.

That is why Therapy is so important because if the underlying issue isn't dealt with, then the ED will NEVER be controlled....it can come & go & sometimes even a swing in the other direction. But issues seriously NEED to be dealt with & sometimes we don't even realize that there is something in our past or present causing it. I had always been weight conscious but with playing racquetball with the guys every day at during lunch at work & being on the go so much, my weight stayed completely in control & I needed the energy to function & keep my engineering career going.....but when I lost my career.....I knew I had a bad marriage for almost 20 years...I just didn't realize how much feeling trapped in it was what pushed me even deeper into the anorexia after stress, depression & Prozac started the weight loss....I didn't want to stop loosing....I wanted to disappear since I couldn't escape my marriage through divorce at that time (financial & other issues)....suicide attempts on top of the anorexia it was just another more passive way of escaping.....years of hospitalizations with central lines & IV nutrition....I managed to survive even gained too much....until another trauma hit when my mother was dying of cancer & again the anorexia came back full force. Only thing that even gave me a reason to want to live was that my mare had just had the most gorgeous new foal that was sleeping on my lap & just the most loving creature I had ever experienced. It took years to get to a healthy weight & then I was able to escape my bad marriage & move 2100 miles away & living alone & figuring out who I really was made me want to live along with the responsibility of 7 dogs at that time & working to get my farm set up to bring my horse here. Hope in life & a reason to live helped me control the anorexia even through a few triggering situations.

I actually have friends now who are more helping me with accountability than causing issues about it & after oral surgery last Friday (all my teeth removed along with tori & a sinus invasion by one of the roots along with an impacted wisdom tooth that was there), I haven't been able to eat much food & really don't feel like putting food in my mouth because it's so sore....but I gained enough before the surgery to have a buffer which I can tell will be mostly used up by the end of this long term healing & having no teeth.

The thing is that I had to want to stop the anorexia behavior....no one can make you want to. It has to come from within......for me there are so many wonderful things going on in my life right now, I wouldn't want to waste my time or be getting dizzy all the time or passing out while living alone & besides stuff like that freaks out my dogs. Leo has a bad enough time with my oral surgery...it's always in my face trying to lick it to make it better.

It's nice that your friend confronted you....& actually she's probably sort of a "TOUGH LOVE" sort of person I'm guessing by the way she confronted you......because in reality....you are the one that has to make the choice of how you are going to live your life & it seems that she sees you doing NOTHING to get any help though you have been dealing with for about a year......some people approach problem situations & feel like they have to hit it over the head with a base ball bat to KNOCK some sense into the person because some people don't listen to NICE or at least some people feel that most people don't listen to nice so they make their statement & draw the line. I myself have been known to function that way when I was in my bad marriage.

I really hope that you can make the right choice & get the help you need now & let your friend know & she might be your best accountability friend in the long run if she feels that you have chosen to work on fixing your problem.