Update:

Webgoji I am sorry but I am afraid I will have disappointed you.

I have not ended the relationship. I love my kids. I know that is not a good reason to keep the relationship going but I do still love her. I think I can get over this......I hope.

Here is where I am struggling and need help coping.

1. She keeps comparing one of my friends that has said some dumb things to her step cousin. I tell her the difference is that when I needed my friends the most they had my back and stopped me from doing something stupid while her step cousin used her for his pleasure and was not there to protect her. She counters this with she still has fond memories of him.

2. I am really struggling with the photo albums where the two of us (me and the step cousin) are in them. These pictures are of them growing up together. I know this may be a little crazy for me to get bothered by but it seems to me that she is still holding on to the "cousin" aspect of this guy.

3. She has now told me that in order for her to forgive herself I have to be ok with seeing him and her talking to him (this will only happen on infrequent family functions) and not be "afraid" to be on facebook. She has told me that she does not feel he needs to be condemned for a decision that she made when she was young and high. Once again all blame is on her and treats him as a victim. I don't want to forgive him. I don't have a problem with her, or maybe I have a problem that she views it as a "decision" instead of sex.

Should I just tell her to "friend" him on face book and store his number in her phone under "cousin". This definitely feels like how she wishes it could be. I don't know why it bothers me. Would anyone else in the forum be cool with this? Am I immature?

Sorry I sound like a broken record. I know most of you are probably getting annoyed with this by now. I know I am tired.

If some one could give me some ways to cope with these three points and/or a response that might help me explain my feelings a little better.

Maybe I just need some support?

Thanks.